Monday, 16 January 2017

Have women become the oppressors too?

I was still a pre-teen when I became aware of the battle of the sexes. I was a pre-teen when I saw a world where men were deemed as worthier than women, and where men were fine subjugating women. Having grown up in the 80s even educating a girl was not a priority in many families- the reason, women would always get married!


Fast forward to my late thirties, and I am realising that although there is a conflict between men and women, we as women have bought into the lie.
For example, I constantly hear women blaming the “other woman”, asking how the other woman could do such when their partner has cheated on them, instead of holding the man accountable.
I hear women talking about men cheating as if it’s something that is the norm and something that should be expected and accepted. I hear women being told by other women that they need to do everything in power to “keep their man”.


I hear about gatherings and events that have been arranged by women, for women, so that women can learn to be the woman a man wants the horrific female genital mutilation for example!. I never hear about men arranging or attending forums so that they can learn and understand women and stop antagonising us.


I constantly see articles telling women how to improve themselves so that they can “land the guy”.
"Perhaps after centuries of having these beliefs enforced on us it is now engrained. Have we become our own enemy? "
A lady friend mine used to tell me that I should be powerful but not too powerful as I might scare off men. So did most of my family members.
Even today, I still hear women telling other women to dress a certain way in order to attract the right type of man.
It's frustrating.


These are but a few examples of the oppressive words that women have said and continue to say to other women, but never to men. Most of us are aware of the double standards held in society but why is it the women who are perpetuating some of them?
Perhaps after centuries of having these beliefs enforced on us it is now ingrained? Have we become our own enemy?

It is sad that as women ,we are at war with ourselves. And this is not the way it’s supposed to be. We were not born a problem.
Or can you say that you have never said or at least thought “How could she stay with him?” after a man treated a woman badly? I have, and honestly not thinking about why the perpetrator is doing it in the first place!


Most women have, and it is not okay that we have allowed ourselves to think like this.
The realisation that we as women are consciously and subconsciously looking down on ourselves is saddening.
 
It is sad to see how we as women continually appease men at our own expense. We always try to justify men’s behaviours, but if it’s a woman, it is their fault. It is sad to see women holding themselves to high standards but allowing men to have no standards.
It is sad that as women,we are at war with ourselves. And this is not the way it’s supposed to be. We were not born a problem. We never became a problem and we shouldn’t see ourselves as a problem.


3 comments:

  1. Nice work Abbie keep it up........

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel like I have so much to say on this, then again, these are your opinions and you are right expressing them here.

    ReplyDelete